During the passage of time, many relationships change. Stresses start to compound, words start to hurt and issues that were once manageable become less so. When there are more troughs than peaks in your marriage, it might be time to consider enlisting the service of a couples therapist to help you back to happiness. We have outlined five warning signs that suggest couples therapy is necessary to reignite the spark between you and your spouse.
You Have The Same Fight, Ad Infinitum
Speak to most couples, and they will tell you that there is a point of contention in their marriage that has always been present. Whether it is trivial or not, arguing about this issue will often become a negative cycle that feels impossible to break. In couples therapy, a therapist can help you both find new methods to talk about ongoing issues in an effort to reach more positive outcomes.
Your Finances Are A Mystery To Each Other
Spending issues can drive a wedge between you and your partner, and cause long-term problems that go well beyond a loss of trust. If there is a significant difference of opinion on how much money should be spent or saved, or if one party insists on covering up their spending habits, help should be sought sooner rather than later. If one person requests more information on the exact nature of your shared finances (debts, savings, superannuation) and the other refuses to divulge it, you may need a professional couples therapist to resolve the stand-off.
You Leave Issues Unresolved
Giving up on certain issues or leaving problems unresolved can signal apathy or dwindling interest in a relationship. Allowing issues to carry on and communication to break down is not a sustainable choice for your relationship in the long term. One of the most rewarding aspects of marriage is the opportunity to talk about and support each other through conversation, even if it pertains to incidental or mundane things. A couples therapist will seek to decrease emotional avoidance and help establish communication patterns that work for both you and your partner.
Your Sex Life has Shifted
While it is quite normal for your sex life to dwindle a little in a long term relationship, sudden or unexplained changes in sexual frequency could spell trouble. While significant or complete decreases in sex are a clear indicator, sudden increases in sex might mean that one person is trying to make up for an aspect of their behaviour.
You Or Your Spouse Has Suggested It!
When it comes to couples therapy and counselling, perception does not always meet reality. Though it might feel like a failing as a couple, reaching out to a qualified therapist is a positive step in rectifying the issues that are keeping you apart. We all make sacrifices for others from time to time; if your partner feels strongly that the time has come to seek outside help, or vice-versa, then going along with them is in your best interest for the future.
Contact Scope Clinical Services For Effective Couples Therapy
If you think any of these warning signs ring true for you and your spouse, book an appointment at Scope with Registered Psychologist Kathryn Bekavac. For more information on our services or to make a booking, call (07) 3162 8448 or use our online contact page.